Friday the 13th.

I finally had my consultation today.

We are aiming for surgery at the end of December, depending how how quickly after the first or second of the month that we can get pre approval from my insurance.

We are opting for the Biliary Pancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch or BPD DS.

I could get the gastric bypass, but I would only lose around 150 lbs, with the BPD DS, I should lose around 212.

I get my psyche eval on the 25th. I also am approved to attend the support group online, the usual meetings are an hour away and I don't usually have transportation after work. I'd have to take off extra time to attend them also, so I'm thrilled with getting the online approval.

I feel good. I posted the lyrics to Wide Awake, I treated myself to the cd today and I have so many songs on there that I was looking forward to having, enough that I couldn't see spending $.99 per son, so I just bought the whole thing.. Wide Awake was not the reason I bought the cd, so to have it speak to me so much, even after I've heard it a few times before, makes me feel slightly empowered, like I had to take this step for the song to really sink in.

I am not ready to talk about it yet. This blog is a small exception. The only people that know that I'm heading this way is my parents, my brother and his fiance (because my Mom slipped and told him before realizing that I didn't want people to know)of course my husband, my soul sister J and 2 colleagues, H and C. The support from everyone, so far, has been much appreciated and quite amazing. For all others, I am looking forward to shocking them. I have very few local friends, I have moved around so much and working from home since I've moved to this state, I haven't made a whole lot of local friends, and even them I do not get to see a whole lot, unfortunately..

I want to get this done, be all I can be and explore my new self before I present myself to the world, if that makes sense.

I will say that now that it is locked into motion, I feel empowered. I truly am Wide Awake, and if people thought I was a force of nature before... Just wait until I have the energy and lose all of this physical baggage. I will truly be a fierce force of nature then.